Making this decision is one of the worst things you'll ever have to do in your life, and one of the bravest and most compassionate. I know there's nothing I can say to make you feel any better, but you have my email address if you ever need to talk about it.
The two of you had a bond that goes beyond the veil. While he is no longer on this physical plane, a part of him will always be in your heart - when you think of him or miss riding with him, just go to that special place in your soul and remember the good times.
I know how much he meant to you. I'm so sorry that you had to make this decision, and I'm so proud of you that you did what was best for him, even if I know this must be incredibly hard for you.
Oh. Oh, Moa. I'm crying for you and for him and this never should have happened and just.. god. I'm so sorry, so so heartbreakingly sorry. I love you. :(
This is such a hard, hard decision to make. Even though part of the mind says that it's only merciful, and part of the heart knows you're doing it out of love, it doesn't stop the other parts of the heart and mind from screaming. "I'm sorry" just doesn't cover it, and sometimes it seems to lose its power in repeating, but it's hard to think of anything else to say.
I can say, though, that you gave him a life worth living. I've long followed your posts on Plaisir, though I've never been good at commenting, and you gave him so much. Somehow that makes it even harder to accept, in some ways. When we got a dog from the shelter who had been so badly abused that he went into hysterics if you put him on a leash and physically collapsed in fear if you moved too quickly around him, and we were able to love him for only three months, and then he was stricken and we had to make the choice to say goodbye, it felt somehow like we'd failed a trust. Not only had we lost a friend, but he didn't even have a chance to be fully healthy again. And yet, when I look back, I remember the way he actually began to prick his ears up at the end, and the way he stopped flinching when you approached him, and how, in the week before he died, he trotted across the yard with his tail up like a normal dog. I remember that he was happy for at least a little while, and to have given him that... it's a true gift. And we had him for so little time, it can't even compare to what you experienced with Plaisir, and all the love and time you devoted to him. And of course, as other experiences with lifelong four-footed family have have shown, the longer you love them the more wrenching a choice it is to make. But sometimes the alternative... it's just too much.
I wish you hadn't had to go through this, after all the effort, all the love, all the sacrifice and hope. But I admire you for all of it - the sacrifice, the love, and the choice. If that sounds trite, I apologize, because I don't mean it to be. I empathize too strongly to be anything but honest in this. And I guess, in the end, I really do have to just say - I'm so sorry. I hope the memories you keep are good ones.
okay, so I'm a few days late but I just now read this... ohmygod. I'm so sorry for you. I mean, I cried my eyes out reading this and I never met him... I can't imagine what it's like for you.
I remember when you were deciding whether to get him or not. You knew what a huge responsibility it would be, how having him depend on you would change your life... and you did it you took him in and you lived up to your responsibilities to him perfectly. You did well by him. You loved him. You took care of him through everything.. and when it was time, you let him go. Honestly, he couldn't have hoped for a better companion. I don't know if that helps right now, but it's still true.
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I know how much he meant to you
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I'm sending you all of my love, and thoughts, and just...God, I am so sorry.
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He was very lucky to have you.
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*hugs hard*
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But you were so good to him, you made him happy *hugs hugs*
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*more hugs*
Hallie
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I just. I can't even imagine.
So much love for you, and so many good thoughts your way, and just. God.
*hugs and love*
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I know how much he meant to you. I'm so sorry that you had to make this decision, and I'm so proud of you that you did what was best for him, even if I know this must be incredibly hard for you.
*hugs*
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*hugs*
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Moa. Oh, Moa. I'm so sorry. He was your horse. I'm not what we call at CVM a 'horse person', but . . . I get it.
And it's such a terrible decision to make--a terrible way to have to love a friend, even though that's what it is: love. :-\
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I can say, though, that you gave him a life worth living. I've long followed your posts on Plaisir, though I've never been good at commenting, and you gave him so much. Somehow that makes it even harder to accept, in some ways. When we got a dog from the shelter who had been so badly abused that he went into hysterics if you put him on a leash and physically collapsed in fear if you moved too quickly around him, and we were able to love him for only three months, and then he was stricken and we had to make the choice to say goodbye, it felt somehow like we'd failed a trust. Not only had we lost a friend, but he didn't even have a chance to be fully healthy again. And yet, when I look back, I remember the way he actually began to prick his ears up at the end, and the way he stopped flinching when you approached him, and how, in the week before he died, he trotted across the yard with his tail up like a normal dog. I remember that he was happy for at least a little while, and to have given him that... it's a true gift. And we had him for so little time, it can't even compare to what you experienced with Plaisir, and all the love and time you devoted to him. And of course, as other experiences with lifelong four-footed family have have shown, the longer you love them the more wrenching a choice it is to make. But sometimes the alternative... it's just too much.
I wish you hadn't had to go through this, after all the effort, all the love, all the sacrifice and hope. But I admire you for all of it - the sacrifice, the love, and the choice. If that sounds trite, I apologize, because I don't mean it to be. I empathize too strongly to be anything but honest in this. And I guess, in the end, I really do have to just say - I'm so sorry. I hope the memories you keep are good ones.
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I'm so sorry. :(
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*big big hugs*
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I remember when you were deciding whether to get him or not. You knew what a huge responsibility it would be, how having him depend on you would change your life... and you did it you took him in and you lived up to your responsibilities to him perfectly. You did well by him. You loved him. You took care of him through everything.. and when it was time, you let him go. Honestly, he couldn't have hoped for a better companion. I don't know if that helps right now, but it's still true.
>:D
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